Gloom and Doom
Oct. 31st, 2007 11:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blueeowynThis is primarily a stream of consciousness (or at least semi-consciousness) ... mostly getting stuff out of my system.
In the so called Markland Birthday Dirge, one of the verses goes Doom and Gloom and Dark Despair, People Dying everywhere... That is starting to sound entirely too much like my current world and I am more than ready for it to STOP already. Sheesh.
Death is a constant. It is part of life. None of us are getting out of this world alive (well, unless the rapture occurs). However, that does not make it more pleasant to have in our individual lives. Especially in our day-to-day lives. Much of what is going on around me is not my story to tell. Many of you who read my friends list know of the passing of a friend's mother.
I feel guilty for not going to the viewing or the funeral. I feel guilty for not going to the viewing (or funeral) for the woman in our building who passed away on Friday. However, in the case of the viewings on Monday, I had more important things to deal with (no, I can't talk about it since it isn't my story to tell but suffice to say, most would agree that it is a reasonable reason to not attend). I still feel bad.
So many people I know are dealing with the loss (or expected loss) of one (or more) whom they love. The loss can be due to physical distance, emotional distance, or death; they all hurt. Some more than others. Usually at fest I get some catharsis when I hear certain things at Pub Sing (esp. Auld Lang Syne), I never heard it this year (I ended up missing most of Pub Sing all the weekends they had it). I missed Danse Macabre.
Tonight is Halloween/Samhain. A time of opening between different planes of existence. A time of remembrance of those who have passed away (All Hallows Eve). A time to mourn the passing of summer and the approach of the little death of winter. A loss of warmth, an approach of coldness and darkness. A time of disparate play in some ways.
I didn't play much this year in that respect. We did carve pumpkins at work (one side of mine was a scenelet with a tree (owl on a branch), a bat, a crescent moon, and a Charlie Brown like ghost. The other side was an incomplete carving (not all the way through the pumpkin) of the Monty Python Rabbit. The carvings I did this year all came out VERY different from what I planned. When Mrs. Pugh and I were carving for the Weekend Pub Sings all 5 pumpkins were VERY opinionated. I started doing my 'normal' horse (either line drawing or silhouette) and the pumpkin told me that it was a face Thank You Very Much and that I needed to FIX IT. All 5 changed drastically after we started carving.
I find myself thinking of mortality, death, consequences. I wonder how/when it will happen (no, I am NOT looking for it to happen). I wonder how word will be spread. I hope that Java will be OK. I wonder about those people whose loved one has passed who don't have a support network. Who didn't know what the finances were like, what the bills were, etc.. I worry about some of them (some I want to administer a Clue-By-Four to).
I grieve for the pain that my friends and loved ones are going through. I grieve for the ones whose lives where needlessly cut short (e.g. Silent Witness). I grieve for those who weren't allowed dignity in death (Shivo). On the one hand, we need death to avoid overrunning the planet. On the other hand, death haunts us all.
[Comments are screened, I will unscreen unless either you request them to remain screened OR I have need to keep them screened.]
In the so called Markland Birthday Dirge, one of the verses goes Doom and Gloom and Dark Despair, People Dying everywhere... That is starting to sound entirely too much like my current world and I am more than ready for it to STOP already. Sheesh.
Death is a constant. It is part of life. None of us are getting out of this world alive (well, unless the rapture occurs). However, that does not make it more pleasant to have in our individual lives. Especially in our day-to-day lives. Much of what is going on around me is not my story to tell. Many of you who read my friends list know of the passing of a friend's mother.
I feel guilty for not going to the viewing or the funeral. I feel guilty for not going to the viewing (or funeral) for the woman in our building who passed away on Friday. However, in the case of the viewings on Monday, I had more important things to deal with (no, I can't talk about it since it isn't my story to tell but suffice to say, most would agree that it is a reasonable reason to not attend). I still feel bad.
So many people I know are dealing with the loss (or expected loss) of one (or more) whom they love. The loss can be due to physical distance, emotional distance, or death; they all hurt. Some more than others. Usually at fest I get some catharsis when I hear certain things at Pub Sing (esp. Auld Lang Syne), I never heard it this year (I ended up missing most of Pub Sing all the weekends they had it). I missed Danse Macabre.
Tonight is Halloween/Samhain. A time of opening between different planes of existence. A time of remembrance of those who have passed away (All Hallows Eve). A time to mourn the passing of summer and the approach of the little death of winter. A loss of warmth, an approach of coldness and darkness. A time of disparate play in some ways.
I didn't play much this year in that respect. We did carve pumpkins at work (one side of mine was a scenelet with a tree (owl on a branch), a bat, a crescent moon, and a Charlie Brown like ghost. The other side was an incomplete carving (not all the way through the pumpkin) of the Monty Python Rabbit. The carvings I did this year all came out VERY different from what I planned. When Mrs. Pugh and I were carving for the Weekend Pub Sings all 5 pumpkins were VERY opinionated. I started doing my 'normal' horse (either line drawing or silhouette) and the pumpkin told me that it was a face Thank You Very Much and that I needed to FIX IT. All 5 changed drastically after we started carving.
I find myself thinking of mortality, death, consequences. I wonder how/when it will happen (no, I am NOT looking for it to happen). I wonder how word will be spread. I hope that Java will be OK. I wonder about those people whose loved one has passed who don't have a support network. Who didn't know what the finances were like, what the bills were, etc.. I worry about some of them (some I want to administer a Clue-By-Four to).
I grieve for the pain that my friends and loved ones are going through. I grieve for the ones whose lives where needlessly cut short (e.g. Silent Witness). I grieve for those who weren't allowed dignity in death (Shivo). On the one hand, we need death to avoid overrunning the planet. On the other hand, death haunts us all.
[Comments are screened, I will unscreen unless either you request them to remain screened OR I have need to keep them screened.]